A couple of weeks ago in Disconnect and Breathe I wrote about my desire to find a slower pace for the summer – to disconnect more from my computer and connect more to my kids and the world around us. I’m happy to report that week one of “Our Disconnected Summer” is in the books and it was (mostly) an unplugged success.
One week ago it was the last day of finals. We were leaving town straight from school and planning to be gone for a week so there were 100 other tasks to accomplish that morning besides just our usual carpool. A chicken with my head cut off would be an understatement.
When school was out I loaded my car full of boys and we headed to a friend’s house at the Delta for an afternoon of fun in the sun. My car was noisy with excitement, and stinky – did I mention 13-year old boys?
When we finally arrived the kids were out of the car and stripped to swimsuits in no time flat. It took me some time to get my stuff and get myself situated. Then there was that moment. The one where I finally walked outside to the patio, felt the sun on my face, and I could feel all of the craziness of the past weeks draining from my body. I let it sink in for a second and then I shouted “Woo Hoo, it’s SUMMER!!” The kids of course thought I was referring to them being done and laughed. Nope. This was about ALL OF US surviving another school year and welcoming in a new season. It felt WONDERFUL.
From the Delta we headed to the mountains where we are blessed to have a family home. We try to get there when we can, but the reality of our schedules with sports and other commitments means we don’t go as often as we’d like. Memorial Day weekend, however, is non-negotiable.
Over the long weekend we had an opportunity to go out boating a couple of days and Derek and I even got away one afternoon for a long hike. It was physically challenging but emotionally liberating. The “last week of school madness” was released.
As the end of the weekend drew near we were sad when “Dad” had to leave to go back to work. Thank God for my practical, responsible husband. Because I’m able to work wherever I am, my boys and I were able to stay on.
As I reflect back now on our week, I feel this strange sense of both having lived through it as a participant and an observer. Being intentional about being in the moment gave me both a subjective and objective perspective on all of our activities.
I got a chance to just “be” with my boys. We went to the pool. We hung out at home. We all read and read and read. My boys liked the challenge I laid down that they would be rewarded for every hundred pages they read and the winner would receive an extra bonus. I have no problem incentivizing reading, and guess what happened? When they shut down their electronics, they had no homework, and nothing else they had to do, they rediscovered their love for reading. There were many times I’d look up from where I was and see all of my boys engrossed in their books. Be still my heart.
Their reading opened up great conversations. One boy was dropping sports facts all week. One read a young adult book with some serious themes and we had some interesting discussions. My youngest took turns between a novel and Snoopy cartoons. Smile.
Another point hammered home this week? Boys are wired differently than girls. I know, right?
One of the things we love to do at the cabin is go to the movies. We rarely do it at home so it feels like such a treat. My boys were looking forward to seeing the new Captain America movie, Civil War. They were concerned though that I wouldn’t be able to follow it if I didn’t have all the back story. So we rented the first movie, The First Avenger, and the second, Winter Soldier, so I could get up to speed and they gave me all the history of all the characters. It amazes me the facts that they keep in their heads about stuff like superheroes.
All caught up, we went to the movies. We chose the theatre a little farther away because there is a specialty candy store on the way. Seeing their faces in that store was another moment where I felt I was observing their childhood. I’d wonder to myself, “Will they remember these trips when they get older?”
Our week continued like this. I’d let them connect to electronics for awhile and then we’d shut down and do something else: swim, play games, and read some more.
Our last night was topped off by a game they bought at the candy store. A game invented for boys for sure. It was a roulette-type game called Bean Boozled where you’d spin a spinner and then everyone would pick a jelly bean of a certain color. But beware – the white one could be coconut or spoiled milk, the speckled pink one could be strawberry smoothie or dead fish, the green one could be pear or booger. (Can I just say, Jelly Belly makes some nasty flavors?) This was the hardest we laughed all week. I love that my boys were so happy to have me participate and laughed and laughed when I got “rotten egg,” “smelly socks,” and some other delicacies.
Today we have to clean up and pack and head back home to “reality” as my boys like to say. Although we think “reality” is so simple for kids, I get where they are coming from. Nothing compares to the lazy days and unhurried life at the cabin. Being disconnected from the world (if not totally from wi-fi) is freeing.
We return home to schedules and commitments and obligations. But my plan is to remain intentional about slowing down. The first week felt so good. Nine more weeks to go. But who’s counting?
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