Since writing about my Spartan friends the whole month of September, culminating with the Spartan Beast race Derek and I completed in October, my blog has sat silent.  Not because I had nothing to share. In fact, the opposite is true. God has been doing so much in my heart that I’ve almost felt paralyzed in trying to share it. I have begun journaling again and although my website has been quiet, my conversation with God has not. The only way we grow in relationships with those we love is to spend time together. The same is true with God. As I have been intentional about spending time with Him, in the Word and in prayer, He has been whispering to my soul.

 

God is doing something big. I know it. He has been revealing it to me a little bit at a time. When the time is right to reveal it publicly, I will. For now, God and I are just having a dialogue. He’s preparing my heart and mind.

 

Check out this video for one of the ideas He revealed to me earlier this month. https://www.facebook.com/ekvistad/videos/vb.1423485105/10211103080319244/?type=2&theater

 

God reminded me that day while I was out running that He called us to be courageous and to live our lives boldly. After that first day when He gave me the song Courageous by Casting Crowns (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pkM-gDcmJeM) He has continued to share it with me. It is not even a new song, but every time I get in the car it comes on. I turn it up and He stirs up my faith.

 

Then He reminded me of Joshua. Four times in the first chapter of the Book of Joshua God tells Joshua to “be strong and courageous.” The word was for Joshua then, as He prepared to lead the Israelites into the Promise Land. The word is for us today as we lead our family in the direction He has called us. He did not give us a spirit of fear. He wants us to be bold and follow Him.

 

As we have gone along this past couple of months trying to tune in to God’s direction for our family, I’ve also been on a journey with my health.  Last year I was diagnosed with an autoimmune disease, CREST Syndrome or Limited Cutaneous Scleroderma. The timing of the diagnosis was interesting as I had just decided to become a health and fitness coach combining both my personal passion for fitness with my desire to help, support and encourage others on their own journeys to health. It seemed ironic that what I needed to keep my own symptoms in check was to dial in my nutrition and exercise.  For more on seeing God in those details, check out this post from February: https://erinkvistadprd.wpengine.com/faith-walk/feeling-god-in-the-details/

 

Nearly a month ago, in fact the same afternoon that I made the above video about God calling me to be courageous, I finally went in for an echocardiogram test that my doctor ordered back in February. Although I am fairly well tuned in to my health, she asked me to have this test done as a “baseline.” She intended to use it as a point of reference should symptoms arise in the future. I didn’t think anything of it.

 

Two weeks later, just as I was preparing to get away for a few days with my family over Thanksgiving break, I got a phone call. One of those phone calls. Someone from my Stanford specialist’s office called to tell me that my doctor was concerned about the results of that “baseline” test and she wanted me to see another specialist.

 

Excuse me? That was a baseline test, remember? The doctor was concerned which of course got me concerned. I started to do some research on my phone as I waited in the parking lot to pick up my boys from school. What I was reading was not encouraging. In fact, it was a little scary. I started to freak out a bit. I wondered about the timing and of course I questioned leaving town. I’m not sure why. I was not expecting to hear from the new doctor for at least a week and even then they said it could be January before I could be seen.

 

I had a choice. I could succumb to fear, information from the internet and my own doubts, or I could trust God. As my blog posts from earlier this year reveal, He has always had our backs. When we have turned it all over to Him, He has never failed us. When we trust Him He directs us. This is not to say things have not been painful, emotional and difficult. It is simply to say He has been there to lead us through it.

 

So here I am again. I can choose to live in fear or I can choose to be courageous. Guess what today’s message was at church? Overcoming a Spirit of Fear. Truly, you can’t make this stuff up. Pastor Ed shared that the opposite of faith is not unbelief but fear. He told us we could overcome fear by faith by confronting our fear honestly, confessing our sins, claiming God’s promises for protection, having a closer relationship with God and committing our lives to Christ. Finally, he reminded us “We cannot live on yesterday’s faith.”

 

Rereading some of my earlier blog posts where God came through for us over the past fifteen years since we have walked with Him builds my faith for sure. But I know God is doing a new work in us and a new level of faith is required. I will continue to draw nearer to God. I will trust in Him. I will choose to be courageous.

 

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