Valentine’s Day had everyone thinking about hearts and candy and love. As a mom, that meant trying to find cute little gifts for my boys as a nod to the day, even though I hope I remind them how much I love them daily. I bought them a couple little things including something that really spoke their love language: Apple iTunes gift cards. Let’s face it, tween boys pretty much have a one-track mind – electronics. (OK, now that they have acknowledged that there are girls at school they have another topic on their minds as well).
The greatest gift I received on Valentine’s this year, apart from the handwritten cards from my boys, was a “down” weekend without any agenda or sports on the calendar. We hung out, we rented a couple of movies and we sat together Sunday night at the dinner table and talked and laughed. With a very busy sports schedule we don’t always have that luxury. Oh how I love quality time with my boys.
Reflecting on Valentine’s Day got me thinking about gifts – given and received. I was reminded that the greatest gifts I have ever received cost nothing in terms of dollars, but were priceless in terms of value. The most precious was the gift of salvation. This story alone could fill several blog posts and I do intend to share it in more detail. For now, let me simply say that Jesus met my husband and me in our very lowest moment in our journey to have a family. Nineteen days after our first baby died in utero, we surrendered our lives to Christ. We finally recognized we were not in control and we needed His direction, His forgiveness, and His salvation. He freely gave His life for us. We gave ours back to Him that night, March 21, 2001.
There is one other gift we received that radically changed our lives. Last week in my post The Great Lemonade Maker I briefly described the crazy journey we went on to have a family. Apparently the “traditional” way was not our way.
After two years of struggling with infertility, we finally became pregnant with our twins. Although the pregnancy was routine in terms of a multiple pregnancy, my boys were born two months early. Immediately following my C-section, I was outside the operating room but not recovering well. Within hours of the births of my babies, I was rushed back into the operating room for an emergency hysterectomy.
My boys were premature but healthy and I recovered well from my surgeries. But we had some hard decisions ahead of us in terms of our family planning. Because of problems with my tubes, my twins were ultimately conceived using IVF technology. They were the 9th and 10th embryos of the thirteen we had created. Doing the math, you realize that we still had three embryos remaining. Now I had no way to carry them.
At my first doctor appointment about a year after my twins were born I talked with my doctor about our options. We had done some research but we did not know where to start. Because we still had hopes of adding to our family, he recommended we look into a professional surrogacy agency. He suggested it would be “more professional” and “more like a business transaction.”
I was a business attorney. That made sense – until the paperwork and brochures came in the mail from these agencies. This was not at all a business deal. This was our life. This would be our child(ren)’s life. I remember sitting on the couch one day and just throwing all the paperwork on the ground. I was sick to my stomach. I wanted no part of this plan. Once again we were at a stalemate as to how to proceed. We didn’t talk to many people about our situation. We were heartbroken with our desire to have more kids but we did not know how to move forward.
Then one Wednesday evening shortly thereafter, as we were getting ready for bed, our phone rang. One of our dearest friends was on the line. We chit chatted for a few minutes. Then our friend started to tell me a story about a dream she had had the night before. She told me that in her dream she was pregnant. She had two kids of her own, we’d been through our pregnancies together. But this wasn’t a normal pregnancy she told me. “In my dream I was pregnant, but it wasn’t my baby, it was your baby.” She was calling to tell me that she wanted to let us know that if we would ever consider surrogacy as a way to have more children, that she would be willing to be a surrogate for us.
I still get goose bumps telling this story. And even typing these words now brings tears to my eyes. This precious friend was willing to give of her body and impact her entire family’s life for close to a year to give us this gift. All because she had been prompted by her dream. Our third son is in this world today because of the greatest gift we ever received this side of Heaven. Although I have no doubt this plan was conceived in Heaven and manifested in that dream. God had once again shown us:
“For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the Lord. “As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.” Isaiah 55:8-9.
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