From the time Derek and I returned from Texas in October God was speaking loudly and doing a working in our hearts. He had something He wanted us to hear. His plan was slowly starting to reveal itself.
Because the first piece of the puzzle had to do with finding a new school for our boys (see Part I: A Closed Door), we jumped in to do our due diligence and explore all of our “options” (even though we were beginning to understand the idea that God had only “one option” He intended for us – see Part IV: A Lightning Bolt). We spent a week researching private schools in the East Bay and we attended a couple open houses. I created a spreadsheet and started tracking the deadlines, admission requirements and fees. I also created a Pro/Con spreadsheet to compare California and Texas. I can almost hear God chuckling as He watched me try to get my brain around these tasks.
While we recognize that times have changed everywhere and nothing is as it used to be, Derek and I both longed for a less frenzied way of life. Sitting in traffic every day, waiting in line everywhere and potentially adding a commute to Walnut Creek or Concord for school while increasing our tuition did nothing to add to the quality of life improvement we were looking for. The California public school alternative just did not feel like a good fit either. We had walked away from that three years ago for a reason
Research, research, research… and listen to God.
So where did that leave us? Sad. Frustrated. Emotional. Wanting more. Not more in terms of quantity but more in terms of quality. Quality of life. Those words were revisited often. Very early on in our conversations we agreed this was not about more money. Our hypothetical “If you suddenly came into $1 million, does that change things?” We both concluded it did not. We wanted off the hamster wheel and more money didn’t change that in any way. This was a liberating conclusion. Especially in a culture that says “just make more, just buy more, just do more.”
We could almost hear the doors in the Bay Area shutting all around us.
Yet the doors in Texas were standing wide open. Our continued research into the business climate, politics, opportunities for Derek to get back to his first love of home building and a future where our kids could go away to college and return and someday buy a home was starting to point in one direction.
Finally, we decided it was time to get the boys more involved in the discussion and take a trip as a family. The upcoming Thanksgiving week would give us a good opportunity to explore for a few days ahead of looming application deadlines in December.
We set out for the airport Saturday morning. Inclement weather in San Francisco caused our flight to be delayed and we spent most of the day at the airport, then we had a problem with our hotel room when we finally arrived late that night. We were not off to a good start and some of the excitement was wearing off after a long day.
Yet I remember really having a sense that we would decide on this trip whether we were coming or going, staying or leaving. We figured this would either be “that time we took that vacation to Texas” or “the first week of the next chapter of our lives.” Our conversation with God was intentional and ongoing. What are you saying? What’s the next step?
Breathe. We’d get a fresh start in the morning.
It was Sunday in Texas so there were two options to start the day. We didn’t have tickets to the home Cowboys game so off to church we went. On our earlier visits we had met with a realtor to look around. She’d check in periodically and ask what God was saying to us.
In one conversation I shared with her my study of Joshua and how it led me to a study of Exodus. Moses was trying to get the Israelites to the Promise Land but they were resisting and grumbling and complaining. They wanted to go back to what they knew for fear of the unknown. Essentially, “But we know Egypt. Egypt is familiar and comfortable. Sure, we are slaves there but we know the expectations and how to operate there.” They had moments where they were onboard with the move of God, and yet they struggled to fully embrace it. I had concluded California was our Egypt. We were tired of grumbling and settling in a place where we were starting to feel more and more disconnected.
Our realtor said that our timing was interesting because her pastor was doing a 9-month series on Exodus and how it applied today. Huh. I downloaded the podcast and had listened to his first 15 or so messages in the week before we arrived. That Sunday we went to hear him live on the topic. With every word I knew God was speaking to our family.
We toured the surrounding area later that day. The next day we drove down to Waco and visited Magnolia Market and walked the campus at Baylor. On Tuesday we toured TCU in Fort Worth. I love being on college campuses with my boys and just imagining all the opportunities that lie ahead of them.
On that last day it was also time for the boys to finally visit the school we were considering. It was closed for the holiday week but the Athletic Director offered to meet us and give us a tour. Our boys were quiet but they were taking it all in – it was very different from any school we had seen. As we walked past the boys’ weight room a man came bounding out. We were introduced to him. He was the Varsity football coach. Nice timing! He was happy to hear we had football players and asked if we had five minutes to talk. We ended up spending about 45 minutes with him. He shared his passion for football and his heart for the Lord.
Then there was a conversation he had directly with our boys that I’ll never forget. He told the boys that although he loved the sport of football, it was more than just the sport. It was the life lessons, the leadership opportunities, etc. He explained that they could play high school football and have a great experience. Some kids would go on to play in college as we’d seen in the hallways of the school, and he said a small percentage of high school athletes would ever go on to play in the pros. But what these boys would likely do someday was become a husband and a father and that’s what they were building up young men for. I may have had a tear coming down my face. THAT is what I wanted to hear from my boys’ coach. He made quite an impact on all of us that day.
That night we returned to our hotel room and began packing for home. Then we came together in the family room of our suite and positioned ourselves in a circle so we could talk. We turned off all electronics and put away all distractions and we just talked. We revisited what we had done, we reflected on the highlights. We prayed for God to give us clear direction. We let the kids know that they were part of this important decision. Ultimately as parents it was our call, but if the boys felt strongly one way or another we wanted to know because that would weigh into the decision. It turned out that we were unanimous in our feelings. As one boy said “I’m rooting for Texas.”
We didn’t know yet what that would look like or how we would make it happen but we were willing to trust God who had begun the working in us. We would stop our grumbling and stop depending on the familiar and the comfortable and we would be willing to get uncomfortable if that’s where God was taking us. There would be a lot to do in the months ahead, but we were excited to watch the next chapter of our story unfold.
We embark on the drive to Texas next week. I hope you’ll come along through this blog and my Facebook posts.
Recent Comments