“Yes, God, I want to follow you. Whatever you want me to do. Make it clear and I’m your girl. You direct my steps. I’ll follow…
Oh, now wait…I don’t really want to do THAT.
What else do you have?
Can I have another option? Can I see what’s behind door number 2?”
Have you ever had that internal dialogue? It’s one thing to understand the idea of being obedient. It’s quite another to actually obey.
My husband has served on the altar/prayer team at our church for a number of years. His responsibilities included going to church early on Sundays and praying before the two services. He would attend both services and pray for anyone needing prayer at the end of service. Then, during the week, he would get emails with prayer needs as they arose and he would pray for them.
A couple years ago our kids’ activities dramatically increased, Derek was coaching multiple teams and sports and he was crazy busy with work. He went to our pastor who leads the altar team and told him he needed to step down from the team for a season. He was having a hard time doing everything and he felt he wasn’t giving his all to this ministry. Pastor reluctantly agreed, at least for awhile. About a year later, which was last April, Pastor called and asked Derek to meet him. He told him he felt very strongly that it was time for Derek to rejoin the team. Derek was as busy as ever but knew in his spirit that it was what God wanted him to do. The next Sunday he was getting ready early and I asked him where he was going. He said “When Pastor Leon tells you he feels God is wanting you to do this, you obey.” I laughed and told him I’d meet him there later.
About an hour later I got a text from Derek that said “Pastor Leon is looking for you.” What? This can’t be good. What does Pastor Leon want me to do? I went to church at 11am and I very reluctantly approached Pastor Leon. I didn’t even want to look at him. I was afraid of what he might say. He knew it and just chuckled. Then he told me as the altar team was praying between services he felt very strongly that God was asking him “Where’s Erin? Why isn’t she here serving with Derek?” Like me, he thought it was odd because I had never served on the altar team. Why was God asking me now?
As Pastor Leon relayed this to me I was skeptical. Umm, excuse me Pastor, prayer team is not “my” thing. That’s Derek’s thing. And the other prayer warriors. And the more pious among us. You need help with hospitality, or administration, or organization? Need me to do something with women’s ministry or kids or anywhere else in the church, I’m your girl. But prayer team? Nope, not my thing…
I’m pretty sure I said all of these things on the inside but I’m sure my face revealed it all. Then Pastor told us this: He said he recognized that the two of us had served faithfully in the church for many years. That we had served all over – from women’s ministry, to men’s to children’s to ushers/greeters, and Derek had even been serving on the board for many years. He said although we had been faithful and diligent in our commitment to those ministries, it was time to serve the body side by side, shoulder to shoulder. He told us when we came together in this season, God would honor this commitment and take us to a new level of service for the kingdom.
Did I mention prayer team is not my thing?
As I prayed about what to do, it became pretty clear to me that Pastor Leon was on track and I should join my husband in this ministry. It meant both of us attending church every other Sunday for about five hours. We’d have to coordinate getting the kids to church and do all of this around our very busy sports’ and extracurricular life. God didn’t care about all those details (well, He did, but He wouldn’t allow them to be an excuse), He just wanted us to step out in faith and serve together.
The very first week we served at the altar after service, a woman came forward for prayer. I was so nervous. Here this woman was coming to me in her vulnerability and asking me to pray for her. Would she know that this was not “my” thing? I had to get out of my own way and just pray. She had been having migraines and had a serious condition with her back. I prayed that God would heal her and give her relief from the pain. We talked for a bit.
Then service was over and I went to get my son from kids’ church. About 10 minutes later the woman came and found me at kids’ church. She told me she was noticing that her headache which had been persistent had diminished and she was experiencing relief that she hadn’t had for some time. She came to thank me for praying over her. She was crying. I started to cry. I told her about my own insecurity of being at the altar that morning but that I was just trying to be obedient and do what God had asked me to do. She was feeling better and God was showing me that I had done what He had asked me to do.
This woman continued to have problems after this and has subsequently had a couple of procedures for her back. She is not yet totally healed but she continues to believe in her healing. I pray for her still and I hope that God will take away all her pain and heal her completely one day soon. But I believe both of us learned so much that first day I prayed with her. She stepped out in faith to approach the altar and ask a stranger to pray for her. The relief she experienced at least for that day built up both of our faith in a new way. God reminded me that serving Him was not about me and what I wanted to do or what I felt equipped to do. It was simply about being obedient when He called. He’d take care of the rest.
Oh, and the year since we responded to the call to serve together on the altar team? God has done AMAZING things in our life. Which is a whole other story for another day…
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